


When The World Ends

by sharedwithyou



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Humor, Angstangstangst, F/M, Mindfuck, Reader-Insert, i don't know what else to put, read it, this is new
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-10
Updated: 2017-04-10
Packaged: 2018-10-17 06:07:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10588005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharedwithyou/pseuds/sharedwithyou
Summary: “If the world was gonna end today, what would you do?”“Candy and porno for the next 24 hours.”“Are you talking about Britney Spears?” Tall, bronze and blonde decided to butt in.“No.” You and Clint responded at the same time.“How did you get Brit-brit involved, Thor?!” Tony stared at the alien like he was… an alien.“That’s her song right? When the World Ends?”“Nevermind. I’m going to spar with Nat.”





	

**Author's Note:**

> I started this a while ago when i felt like the word was ending. but i couldn't finish it, because it's hard to write when you think the world is ending.
> 
> now i don't feel like the world is ending anymore, so i can finish it. but it turned out angsty anyway. 
> 
> read it!
> 
> and leave me a comment if you like!!
> 
> XOXO Bucky the Angstmaster

 

 

“If the world was gonna end today, what would you do?”

“Candy and porno for the next 24 hours.”

“Clint, you’re disgusting.”

“Hey, I’m with Legolas. Except for me it would be sex and beer. Since I can actually get a girl. And I’m not five.”

“Shut up Tony, I was talking to Hawk. And by the way, if the world is ending today, you would have less than 24 hours.”

“I stand by my statement.”

“Are you talking about Britney Spears?” Tall, bronze and blonde decided to butt in.

“No.” You and Clint responded at the same time.

“How did you get Brit-brit involved, Thor?!” Tony stared at the alien like he was… an alien.

“That’s her song right? When the World Ends?”

 

“Nevermind. I’m going to spar with Nat.”

 

“What was that all about?”

“Fuck knows, man. Probably some Cosmo quiz.”

“Stop using strange expressions around him, Tony. He has enough trouble with the normal ones.”

“Yeah, whatever you say Mr. Candy and Porno.”

“Like I said, I stand by my statement. And who even says ‘fuck knows’?!”

“Fuck knows.”

 

 

“Another unsuccessful attempt in getting Clint to admit he has feelings for you?”

“Admit presumes they exist.”

“Fine. Another unsuccessful attempt in getting Clint to divulge whether or not he has feelings for you?”

“Something like that.”

“It’s easier if you just ask, you know.”

“Easier on my sanity, but not my ego.”

“If he doesn’t, finding out either way will suck.”

“Yeah yeah, Dear Abby. Now can you put the head back on the dummy so I can practice my cross-over kick?”

“You know that’s barely ever used in actual combat right?”

“Well it still looks cool. And being best friends with the Black Widow means I need to be more stylish in my skills.”

“Shouldn’t I be the one to decide that?”

“No. And also you shouldn’t get involved in my schemes to get info on Clint’s romantic inclinations.”

“Saying that is basically asking me to get involved.”

“Well, don’t.”

“Nobody tells me what to do.”

“Fine. Don’t put the head back on the dummy.”

“Reverse psychology. Not bad, (y/n).”

“Too bad it only works on fools and imbeciles.”

“Luckily Clint is both.”

 

 

“Smooth move with the world ending question there, (y/n).”

“Shut it.” Apparently Nat the Cat wasn’t the only one who was gonna give you a hard time about this.

“You might as well have walked out there in a Katy Perry whipped cream bra and squirted him in the face.”

“Don’t say squirt.”

“Why, does it make you uncomfortable?”

“Exceedingly.”

“Fine.” He sat down on the sofa primly, crossing one leg over the other.

“…”

“SQUIRTSQUIRTSQUIRT!”

“Oww, my ear!”

 

 

“They’re flirting again.”

“No, Clint. (Y/n) does not flirt. She just gets annoyed and smushes his face into chairs. And tables. And walls.”

“She’s giggling.”

“You know she does that when she’s ticklish. She’d giggle if you tickled her too.”

“Yeah I don’t wanna be all handsy like Tony. I actually have class.”

“Oh really? Candy and porno?”

“Hey, her question came out of like nowhere!”

“So if you had been prepared you would’ve told her-“

“Hell no!”

“Well, enjoy the friend zone.”

“Whatever. I’m a true gentleman. Deep down. Unlike Stark.”

“Yeah, well at least he gets some.”

“Yeah, whores don’t really count- wait do you mean right now?!”

“With (y/n)?! No….”

“I’m gonna kick his ass!”

 

Bruce gave Nat the Cat a look as he was nearly knocked onto the ground by Clint sprinting past him.

“That’s what you get for eavesdropping.”

“I’m just coming in to get coffee.”

“Sure.”

“Nice work, by the way. You better be the one who cleans this up when it blows up in your face. I am NOT wiping tears and pudding off (y/n)’s face this time.”

“That wasn’t my fault. I told Clint (y/n) was at the club with a girlfriend. I didn’t think he’d take it to mean she had suddenly become lesbian. Or that he’d make out with said girlfriend to prove that she was actually straight. Which doesn’t even make sense! Courtney could’ve been bi!”

“Well, I guess that’s why you lied this time.”

“I clearly and deliberately said that Tony was NOT doing anything with (y/n).”

“You knew he was gonna take it sarcastically.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

There was a loud crash followed by a string of cussing. Bruce sighed, and Nat the Cat looked astonished; a rare sight for both of them.

 

“This is why I stick to science.”

 

 

“So when are you gonna get over Mr. Candy and Porno?”

“None of your business. And stop calling him that.”

“Candy and Porno Candy and Por-“ Tony finally shut his trap as you shoved a lollipop in it.

“Wow I haven’t had one of these in forever.”

“Yeah ever since I made that BlowPop joke years ago.”

“Oh, right.” Tony pulled the candy out of his mouth quickly and shoved it back at you.

“Uhm, ew? Cooties much?!”

“What are you, five?”

“Fine. Herpes, much?!”

“Hey! You know I don’t have that! On my mouth, anyway…” The two of you both cracked up at this, as he threw the lollipop over the couch onto the carpet. What a pig. No wonder the last housekeeper quit. Either that or it was because Tony hit on her too much.

“What happened to Einez anyway?”

“She gave me an ultimatum.”

“Stop making mamacita comments or she’d quit?”

“Racist. She was Brazilian.”

“You’re the one who assumed she was Mexican!!”

“Stop trying to put Nanny Cams in Tashas’ room or she’d quit?”

“Close.”

“Ew.”

 

“Well I mean she saw me trying to put one in yours-”

 

“What was that?”

 

He stared at you, completely shocked by his own words.

“I was joking-“

“Like hell you were.”

“Fine, hit me then.”

“You’re so stupid, Tony.”

“Yeah, I know.”

You drew away from him, staring at him curiously. He turned away quickly, in case you decided to backhand him, his face wouldn’t slam against the back of the couch.

 

“I wondered why Mr. Binky disappeared for 2 days.”

“Yup.”

“And why when he appeared again he was in the bathroom.”

“Who knows what teddy bears do these days?”

“Well, next time maybe sew the camera in properly so it doesn’t fall out onto the sink.”

“…it fell?”

“You didn’t wonder why the feed was sideways?”

He cleared his throat loudly. “I, uh, yeah I was a little confused, but you know, technology and all.”

“I’m confused, Tony. Aren’t you the best at technology?”

“Well, duh.”

“So why didn’t you put any batteries in the camera?”

It was his turn to stare at you.

 

“…you knew?”

“Like I said, Tony, you’re really stupid.”

“…”

“But it’s sweet in a creepy way. I mean you could’ve just not put a camera in there.”

“But then Einez wouldn’t have quit.”

“You could’ve just fired her.”

“I don’t like firing girls.”

 

He got up abruptly and walked out of the room, completely unnerved by the conversation.

 

“Wait!”

He turned and nearly got whiplash as you ran over and shoved his face into a wall. “Goddamnit (Y/n)!”

“You deserved it!”

“Motherf-“ The curse was nearly out of his mouth when you shoved your face onto his.

He froze for a second, before pulling away quickly. “What the hell?!”

 

“I just wanted to know what flavor the lollipop was.”

“…it was red. So obviously, cherry.”

“Well, maybe I wanted a taste.”

 

All the snarky comebacks left his brain as he stared at you.

 

Your lips stained from where his were.

 

 

Then he shook his head and walked away, completely confused. Had the world ended or something?!

 

 

“Don’t spy on people, Clint, it’s creepy.”

“Says the girl who just frenched Mr. Nanny Cam.”

“It was an act, Clint. There were no batteries then. Just like there was no tongue just now. So both times you were a-wrong.”

 

He dropped down from the vent with a thud.

“Whatever. You’re still a slut.”

 

“Whatever. You missed your chance.”

**Author's Note:**

> ;alksdjfa;lskdjf;alksjd;f leave me a comment!
> 
> random ramblings:
> 
> quick poll: WAS THIS UNSATISFYING  
> for me it was romantically unsatisfying which made the angst worst  
> i feel like this is kind of a unique ending/fic in general  
> it may or may not be dying for a sequel. you decide.
> 
> fyi the candy and porno line is courtesy of fez from that 70s show. different context kinnd of, but yeah
> 
> so tony puts in a 'nanny cam' to make einez (picked a random name i've heard before, not particular to any nationality that i know of. could be european as much as south american in my brain) uncomfortable enough to leave. and because he's a perv. but he never actually sees anything. of course he bluffs when lovely mentions the 'sideways feed', not wanting to reveal that he wasn't actually a perv. because he's dumb  
> i love him
> 
> quick poll 2: who?!?!
> 
> i'm team tony on this. i love how he has feelings for lovely but still can't really process them properly. even after he gets kissed he's all mindfucked and runs away. although clint still has a chance since tony's reaction didn't go so well. man, do you guys want a sequel? 
> 
> quick poll 3: favorite part? or if it all hurt to read, angstiest part?!  
> mine is when you shove tony's face into the wall. because it's hilarious and also because he's totally thrown by the kiss you give him after that.
> 
> give me some love below! and let me know if this deserves a sequel!!
> 
> XOXO Bucky the Mindfucker
> 
> p.s. everything tony was a mindfuck here. i'm proud of myself


End file.
